Separation Anxiety (SA)
- Element Dog Training
- Aug 24
- 14 min read
As it sounds, Separation Anxiety, is anxiety the pet feels when they realize that they will be separated from their guardian. Separation anxiety can show up with varying levels of severity. It can range from light panting and minor anxiousness to full blown panic that can result in self-mutilation (can be self-inflicted through chewing or licking or through their efforts to escape through crates or windows). It can show up as regular behavior items but can also be a true medical illness.
Separation anxiety will usually show up when the guardian starts their routine of leaving (something as simple as picking up keys can be a trigger because it always precedes someone leaving) or very shortly after they leave. It is possible for pets to have separation anxiety symptoms start well after the guardian leaves but this is rare and would necessitate a different training protocol (I would recommend working specifically with a separation anxiety trainer – see links at end of doc - or a veterinary behaviorist if this is the case).
The exact causes of Separation Anxiety are unknown, but it seems to be (anecdotally) more common in shelter dogs. Besides being left alone, changes in guardian, changes in schedule, and changes in residence can all contribute to the pet’s anxiety. Unfortunately adopted dogs go through all of these and sometimes multiple times while waiting to get adopted. The goal is to help them learn to cope. For most newly adopted dogs as long as healthy behaviors are encouraged, the anxiety can subside as they continue to settle in and realize that they are in their permanent residence. If it does not improve consulting a separation anxiety trainer, veterinarian or a veterinary behaviorist would be the next steps.
Here are a couple links with some more detailed write-ups about Separation Anxiety:
(Do not leave your dog in the car!)
Managing Separation Anxiety:
The first step in supporting dogs with separation anxiety is to put the necessary management steps in place. Management is not training and does not fix separation anxiety but it help supports the training plan by removing other stressors in the dog’s life putting. A fulfilled dog is in a better place to learn and work through their separation anxiety.
Provide exercise both mental and physical multiple times a day (as much or as little as it takes for the dog to be tired both mentally and physically)
Provide plenty of physical exercise throughout the day
A nice combination of high intensity (play), medium intensity (walks), and low intensity (settling/stationary activities) is required
Provide mental stimulation – Behavior/Trick/Obedience training sessions, puzzle toys, and other longer lasting items. Anything that gets them thinking is mental stimulation. This could also be novel items [eg; random playtime with a cardboard box, new toy, or a sniffari in a novel or interesting area].
Puzzle toys or stuffed Kongs typically work best for food motivated dogs. Even if your dog isn’t food motivated it is certainly worth a try to see if they enjoy it
Dogs can be physically tired but if their mind is still fresh it can be hard to relax so mental activities are important
Prep for departures by tiring out your dog. About 30 to 45 minutes before you need to leave provide 5-25 minutes (depending on energy level of the dog) of exercise that combines physical and mental stimulation. Allow them to cool down and relax then ask them to go to their crate or safe place and wait for them to lie down and relax before leaving.
This is only valid if your dog is at the stage where it is capable of being left alone
Use Homeopathic Methods to support stress reduction
Pheromone sprays or similar calming sprays could be used prior to leaving (duration before leaving will be dependent on the delivery mechanism). There is a wall plug in that can be left in place and lasts for 1 month or a spray that can be put on their bed or cloth items out of chewing range that will last for 4 hours.
There are also a variety of chews available on the market targeted to helping dogs relax and settle. Most of these have not been independently verified but if you find something that is safe and works for your dog it’s a good tool to have in your tool kit.
Turn on some calming music
This has been proven to reduce stress levels in dogs and it can mask some of the environmental noises that alert them to people leaving or returning.
It would be important to put the dog away, turn on the music, and let them relax before leaving as well as at times where you don’t plan on leaving so that they don’t learn to associate the music with being left alone.
Crate Training
Ensure they learn that the crate is a safe, relaxing place will help support the desired behavior for when you leave
For dogs with confinement issues (really find the crate stressful) utilizing a dog safe room or open top dog pen is a great alternative.
Crate training is NOT A SOLUTION TO SEPARATION ANXIETY it is a management technique to limit destruction in the house
Associative learning can benefit the SA training if the crate training is taken far enough that it becomes a settling cue or your dog.
If they become destructive in the crate, I would suggest looking into getting a more robust crate. This would help prevent them from destroying the crate or hurting themself, eg: chipping a tooth or breaking a nail.
They are bit more expensive, but it should last. I would just avoid smaller gauge wire crates if they are trying to escape as they are easily damaged.
Here is an example, I haven’t purchased one, so I don’t have a specific brand recommendation:
Treat Crate Training like training any other trick and make it fun:
Lead the dog to the crate and reward them for interacting with the crate
Once they are happily interested in the crate then ask them to go in, use your preferred signal for “Go to Crate”
They may require a food lure to help when you start
See my website – Crate – for detailed crate training instructions
When they enter the create praise and reward
Continue to practice until they no longer require a lure and then begin to add duration
Start small with 5-10 seconds and work up to, hopefully, hours. Reward for staying calm for the duration and then slowly extend the duration. If you notice them breaking early, then the criteria has probably been set to high. Ensure to only reward calm behavior.
The goal is that they will stay in it and get into a relaxed state, eventually even going to sleep.
Once they are comfortable going then then you increase the difficulty by closing the crate door - be sure to decrease the duration when you increase the difficulty to ensure they are staying calm and enjoying the activity
Once they are successful with the crate closed then you can start to leave the area that they are crated so that they get used to you creating distance from them while they are kenneled.
End state works up to leaving the house but beginning phase may only be 1-2 steps.
Crating at night and slowly moving the crate away from the bed/bedroom is a good way to help them acclimate to sleeping in the crate and doing so at a distance from the guardians.
Getting Medication on Board
If management and training are insufficient or when the pet has to left alone prior to being ready, medication can reduce the stress and help prevent deterioration.
Medication has a variety of purposes from situational to long term and should be discussed with a veterinarian or veterinary behaviorists if you think it could benefit your dog
Set up a remote monitoring device like a Furbo
This can be used to monitor for signs of stress while you are gone and help determine when it is safe to extend the duration of time they are left alone
If there is an audio feedback function it can be used to calm or interrupt any destructive behavior. This can also help make them think you are home even after you have left -> for some dogs as far as they are concerned: if they can hear your voice you are home (for other this will have little to no impact or could make things worse if they find it confusing – read your dog to determine the right course of action).
It can remotely provide reinforcement for good behaviors with treats and verbal praise
Separation Anxiety Training:
Successful treatment means not leaving the dog alone for longer than they can calmly handle. This can be important for some cases but for less severe cases we do our best to set the dog up for success when it needs to be left alone. Treatment will be a combination of management, desensitization, and counterconditioning.
Provide adequate Mental and Physical activity – the amount will be specific for each dog
Only leave when/if the dog is truly relaxed
This is always the most difficult part to work through when working with separation anxiety because most people have to leave at some point and the dog isn’t always ready. It’s important to minimize the duration and stress the dog will experience when it has to be left alone.
Identify and desensitize the triggers (Departure Cues)
Triggers may be things like grabbing keys, a wallet, briefcase, or shoes.
As you get ready to go pay attention to how the dog reacts. If you pick up an item and notice their energy level has changed, behaviors like pacing, panting, drooling, whining or circling, it is likely you have identified a pre-departure trigger.
Perform mock departures to desensitize the triggers.
Replicate the details of normal leaving behaviors and patterns without leaving.
Keep comings and goings low key.
We want the dog to learn that it isn’t a big deal when we leave or when we return home.
Returning home is usually the hard part. Greeting an overly excited dog doesn’t directly create or reinforce separation anxiety however from a wholistic perspective perpetuating/creating a calmer more confident demeanor can support confident decision making and reduce any perceived stress about the fact that we’ve been gone.
Release a crated dog when they are calm
Don’t leave a dog who is panicking in their crate. It is very unlikely they are going to self sooth and develop a sense of calm and safety because we ignored their panicking.
Most of the crate training should be taken care of outside of SA training but being consistent on your expectation with exiting the crate supports the life goal of a dog with smaller, more confident feelings. When healthy for the dog, work to maintain a calm exit from the kennel
Work on crate training
Creating a small place that the dog associates with calm and safety can help minimize any feelings of anxiety while keeping your pet and your house safe. Some pets preferred a covered, or partially covered crate, while others will find a cover more stressful. Experimenting will help determine what works best for your particular pet.
For pets that struggle in enclosed space (confinement anxiety) using portable fencing or creating other dog safe areas/rooms are a great alternative to a fully enclosed crate.
Plan out departures starting with short durations and building to larger durations
Initial departures should be short and try to be planned for times of day the dog is most likely to be successful
Mornings after exercise and breakfast
After exercise and lunch
The couple hours before bedtime
Dogs are most active in the morning and evening along with an activity period near lunch after their morning sleep time has ended.
Initial departures may only be 15 seconds depending on your dog and the severity of their separation anxiety. Start where they are successful and build up the time from there.
Success is determined by body language. Be very sensitive to changes in body language and arousal. “Fine” isn’t the goal, relaxed and neutral is our goal.
Once the dog is successful during the optimal times of day the difficulty can be increased by:
Leaving during non-optimal times of day or
By slowly eliminating some of the pre-leaving management tasks (eg: less exercise before leaving, decreasing the time to calm down, decreasing the music volume).
Supporting SA through Healthy Independence
Welcoming a new dog into the house is a really exciting event. In response to this people’s routines, attention, and activities generally become devoted to the new dog for a period of time. Rules, boundaries, structure, and routine end up being something to be developed later. I think that because of where they have come from (shelter or rescue) there is then an added layer pity attached to shelter dogs. This can look like:
Dedicated attention to the new dog
Being home 100% for days or weeks, 100% access to people in the house, sleeping near or on people all day
Rewarding them for eliciting attention any time they ask
Lots of fawning, baby talk, physical attention, calls to cuddle, encouraging them to follow you around all day
Delaying implementing any training to avoid “adding stress” to their life
None of these things are inherently bad. However, for a dog lacking in confidence, who struggles not being included, or who is predisposed to separation anxiety all of these items may help trigger or reinforce separation related behaviors. It also establishes an expectation from the dog that this is how life is going to be in this house. Then when normal life starts to kick in and these things change, the dog doesn’t understand why, which creates stress.
Teaching healthy independence in our dogs helps them to learn coping skills for when they are not able to be a direct part of their social circle. There are specific skills we can work on to encourage this behavior but I find embracing some life/interactive concepts has a greater impact on their confidence.
Specific Skills:
All 3 of the skills below are known as stationing cues. We want to work on the dog being able to stay still and relax or go to a spot and relax. Build the cue first, then build duration before adding distance and then lastly work on adding in distraction. The reason we work on and build all 3 for daily use is because each has its end goal. See the Element Dog Training website for instructions on teaching these 3 behaviors: Training Resources | Element Dog Training
Stay – for when the dog is already with us and we are just getting up to do something before coming back. This is a location independent cue.
Place – for when we either need some space (but not confinement) and/or we want them to join us but not directly in our laps
Crate – for when we need confined time or are practicing an approximation of separation as part of the separation related behavior training.
Concepts:
Fulfillment & Safety
Safety is created through establishing routines/predictability. By establishing appropriate patterns in activities and/or in our daily routine allows the dogs to predict what is going to happen and be confident in the outcomes.
Dogs who know that they are going to get their exercise, mental stimulation, and meals then be asked to sleep (repeated as necessary through the day) are less likely to stress about missing out.
Teaching our dogs that when we are engaged with them, we are truly, 100%, actively engaged builds connection and helps fulfill their needs for social interaction.
Being consistent (teaching them) in our interactions to show them that engagement time is engagement time and disengagement time is disengagement time.
This last one can be the trickiest and sometimes need to be done in stages. Where the true disengagement time after an activity may only be say 30 seconds but we slowly build up to multiple hours of disengagement using these concepts and our discrete skills above.
It is also supplemented by pro-actively meeting our dogs needs without them having to ask. Proactively providing enough physical exercise (high, med, and low intensity), mental stimulation, sensory stimulation, and social connection means they are less likely to exhibit behaviors to ask for help in filling these needs.
Not Now & All Done
For any healthy relationship there should be a healthy give and take. Any behavior we allow, we should be able to prevent, any behavior we start, we should be able to end. We should then intentionally practice all of these options with any new dog.
Striking a healthy balance between letting your dog choose what they want to do and occasionally telling them “Not Now” when they ask or “All Done” when it is time to end a behavior.
Not Now: This could apply to cuddle time, play time, walks, attention, or really any things accept bathroom breaks and water. This cue is an indicator that they can’t get what they want right now but that it will come later. While teaching this it can be valuable to use alternate solo activities or behaviors (stay, place, crate, solo toys or chew, play time with another dog, etc.) to bridge the time. Working on both calm and active alternate behaviors helps teach the dog they can choose an appropriate option but the interacting with you isn’t going to happen right now
All Done: This can also apply to cuddle time, play time, or any other activity you’re already engaging in with your dog. This signals the end of a particular activity. Again, having other desired behaviors ready to support the end of an activity can help teach the dog what the appropriate options are when a particular activity is no longer available (stay, place, crate, solo toys or chew, play time with another dog, etc.)
Rewarding Calm Independence to Create Calm Independence
Capturing is the concept of rewarding naturally occurring behaviors throughout the day. If our goal is to create healthy independence we want to look for and reward any (and all – stretch goal) approximations of that throughout the day. See S.M.A.R.T 50 concept for further details on capturing daily behaviors:
Behaviors to look for include:
Sleeping somewhere not near you.
Not getting up to follow you when you are doing a menial task
Choosing to not elicit attention from you just because you are available
Not greeting you in a super aroused/excited manner when you enter a room
Voluntarily laying down in their crate or place bed
Isolation Activities
Being left alone or not being included can create stress for our dogs. Taking advantage of our daily tasks where the dogs can’t actively participate in to practice isolation can help build resiliency in our dogs:
Dogs do not need to help us: go to the bathroom, clean the house, do our daily computer work, get the mail, do the laundry, participate in chores, get a glass of water or snack, etc.
Instead take advantage of the skills put in place and practice an appropriate one (Stay, Place, Crate):
Spending time in the office where the dog’s crate it. Ask for a crate cue while working. Intentionally build in short duration trips out for water, a snack, or bathroom break so they can practice seeing you leave and return.
Cooking dinner - utilize our Place cue and strategically move the bed location farther and farther away as the dog develops the coping skills
Folding laundry – utilize a stay at the bedroom threshold and slowly move that stay farther and farther back until you can ask the dog to stay where ever they were laying down when you got up to go get the laundry.
Sleep
Sleeping arrangement can sometime be the easiest place to build in some independence. Instead of sleeping with your dog transition them to a dog bed or crate. The sleeping location may have to start right next to the bed but it can be incrementally moved away until the dog is sleeping in another room behind a closed door.
I also encourage people to build in nap times throughout the week/day where the dog is asked to go lay down in this spot while we do our normal daily activities.
Success here comes from a commitment to change. There is likely nothing inherently “wrong” with anything you are doing with your dog. It’s just likely that the combination of those behaviors with this specific dog’s behaviors have left the dog in a position where it doesn’t have the coping skills needed to succeed when separated. Committing to changing our behaviors allows us to both teach and communicate to our dog how to feel safe, secure, and comfortable when they don’t have access to us. Working through concepts can be more difficult because it isn’t as discrete as building a specific behavior. To do this we need to develop our body language reading skills. Being able to notice the small signs of stress, anxiety, happiness, content, and calm are all key in determining how to appropriate respond. For example if we keep rewarding a demand request instead of a polite request for play, we may find that we struggle to make progress in eliminating demanding or attention (inappropriate) seeking behavior. See Body Language Basics on my website for a refresher on body language. Lastly, it is okay to comfort an anxious dog. Helping a dog recover from stress isn’t going to create a more stressed dog. It is important to recognize that if we are consistently putting the dog into a situation that is causing stress above and beyond a level that they can learn at we need to reassess the training program. Dogs, just like people, don’t learn when they are panicked so finding ways to break down the exposures to more manageable learning situations is the key to long term success and growth.
Separation Anxiety Trainers:
There is an entire industry dedicated to people who specialize in treating separation anxiety. For more complicated and sever cases I refer out to those who specialize in working separation anxiety cases:
Two organization that certify separation anxiety trainers:
An AZ Local Trainer to contact:
Home Alone Academy - Separation Anxiety Support (homealoneacademy.com)
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